Life is for living
spontaneous chats with strangers, late-night Wendy's runs, & indie rock music
7/26/26
11am
Concert day!! My third of the summer, the most I’ve ever gone to in a year and it’s been fucking fantastic. Picked Marla up with Starbucks and a snack-filled Trader Joe’s canvas tote in hand, road-trip ready with a few songs queued up and a Spotify jam ready to be taken over by my passenger princess. She’d already seen Young the Giant four times, which is wild – I’ve never seen an artist that many times, but I wish I had been more dedicated to doing so throughout my life!
We jammed to the YTG setlist on our drive down to Oregon, both agreeing that we were okay not being surprised by the setlist if it meant we could be prepared (especially myself, since I wasn’t as familiar with their discography). The vibes were glorious, driving along to the kind of music that is perfect to get high to at an outdoor concert on a warm summer day; we were looking so forward to bringing that vision to life later that night.
3pm
One bathroom break and food stop later (sushi for her, Wendy’s for me because I was craving a particular flavor of over processed spicy nuggets), we arrived at our Airbnb – the cheapest we could find for a single night less than 10 minutes from the concert venue, and it ended up being such a lovely stay. It was tiny and cozy and full of quite the amalgamation of artwork and styles of decor; a photograph above the couch of what we guessed was an alleyway in Italy, a confusing and slightly unnerving painting of three intertwined horses, and a bedroom with various paintings, portraits, and artistic renderings of Prague.
At one point I walked out to grab something from my car and ran into who I presumed was the Airbnb host, a woman leaning against her car who I’d guess was in her early 60s, chatting to another woman who wore a silver cross necklace. I was so proud of myself – instead of quickly saying hi and trying to escape small talk, I told her how delightful the place was and let myself be open to conversation!
Thank goodness I did, because we ended up chatting for 15 minutes about all sorts of fascinating topics: how sad it was that you could no longer bring your own drinks into the concert venue (but don’t worry, we could just stuff some drinks or other goodies – wink wink – in our pockets, pointed out the cross-bearing elderly woman, whose name, I learned, was Marcia); along with the host, Marianne’s, childhood growing up in the Mediterranean and her lifelong travels that inspired the home’s decor. We were correct about the Italy photograph; the living room was full of art from the Mediterranean, the bedroom Prague as that’s where her husband lives, and the bathroom designed in an “art deco” style, because, as she informed me, Marianne thought she should have born in that era.
She told me about a trip she and her husband once took to Athens, right after he had unexpectedly lost his job. He worried that they shouldn’t be taking such a frivolous vacation during a stressful period, wondering if they should still go, but Marianne reminded him that “Life is for living,” and I immediately noted that down in my memory to write about later. I shared about my childhood growing up overseas and we spoke about the importance of experiencing other cultures, and how difficult it is to have friendships with Americans who have never traveled outside of their home state and seen the world.
Marcia hinted that she needed to get going, and they asked if we were driving to the concert; I said no, that we were Ubering, and Marianne said good girl, then you can drink and not worry about it and just stumble inside at the end of the night! She reminisced on the last time she went to a concert at this venue and how the guy singing was high as a kite. I loved her and am so grateful I decided to be open to a conversion with these two lovely women.
Trigger warning for the rest of this entry – mention of gun violence in the news. Please read with care or skip it entirely!
6pm
The openers were fantastic, Common People and the Cold War Kids; I didn’t know either going into the evening, but both were so fun and extremely talented. It almost felt like Common People, an indie rock band of 5 kids who were probably in their mid-late twenties, were a younger version of the Cold War Kids, also and indie rock band of 5 guys who started out in their 30s and were now in their 50s. Both bands rocked the fuck out and looked like they were having a great time, so it was equally a great a time for us.
All was going perfectly until we were sitting down on the dusty gravel pit after the openers finished and I saw a text on my phone from my aunt – “You weren’t at Seattle Center today, were you?” Assuming she might have been in town and seen someone who looked like me, I responded “No!” – but got a weird sinking feeling in my stomach when she texted back “Ok good.”
Immediately my mind went to the worst: fuck, what happened, what have I missed? I nervously typed “Seattle Center” into a Chrome tab and there it was, headlines that all said something along the lines of “mass shooting at Seattle Center.”
There wasn’t much news out yet at the time; now we’ve learned that it was less of a mass shooting and more of a targeted dispute of some sort that took place at a local event where innocent people got caught in the crossfire. But in that moment, when all I saw were the words “mass shooting” at a place that I go all the time, a place that I’ve been to for at least 3-4 events already this summer, a panic started to rise up inside of me. This is my nightmare. I am supposed to be looking forward to the band who is about to come on stage and all I can think about is what was going on back home in my city.
I knew I had to do my best to put it out of my head for the time being and force myself back to the present moment. So I quickly checked my boyfriend’s location just to be sure that he hadn’t spontaneously gone to that event today out of the blue, and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw his little dot at home.
Took a few deep breaths and tried to pay attention to the things I could see, feel, hear; the stage and the people dancing around me, the blazing sun on my skin and the slight buzz of the overpriced mojito we’d been sipping on, the playlist over the loudspeakers that kept everyone entertained while we waited for the main show to start.
It was easier to immerse myself in the music once YTG came on stage; the expired edible I’d taken kicked in just enough to let me enjoy myself without making my anxiety worse, and I danced and sang and brought myself back anytime my mind began to wander to the news.
How did it unfold? When did they realize something was happening, when did they drop everything and realize their worst nightmare was occurring right in front of them, when did they run into the food court for cover? Where did they hide; under the chairs at the MOD pizza I’ve eaten at before multiple concerts this summer or behind the bar at the cafe?
8pm
“Life’s too short to even care at all” echoed in the background during a gorgeous rendition of Cough Syrup as I worked hard to bring myself back down mentally, away from the scary thoughts and what if’s and fuck, life is too short to NOT care actually. My hands shook as I double checked my boyfriend’s location one more time and brought my phone back up to take videos, using all my self-control not to sabotage myself by looking for a news article.
Back to the music… deep breath, I am safe, my friends are safe, my boyfriend is at home, I am so fucking lucky to be alive and to be here and I will not let this ruin the happiness I am otherwise feeling in this moment. I could find out more information tomorrow but not in this moment, in this moment I will do everything I fucking can to be back in this magical experience with my best friend and the people around me.
Before I’d seen that updated news notification, I wrote down something that the lead singer had said over beautiful instrumentals, talking about how the band had believed in themselves so much that nothing else mattered; how when you get into a state of pure joy, everything else will work itself out.
I am carefully tucking both that & Marianne’s “life is for living” comment, and carrying them forward with me as beautiful little memories from that night. Along, of course, with the Wendy’s feast we enjoyed once we were back at our Airbnb later that evening – more spicy nuggs, multiple Frosty’s, and fries that, when dipped in said Frosty’s, tasted like the best fucking thing I’d ever had in my life. I took what is now probably one of my favorite Polaroids ever to capture that perfect moment for eternity. Fell into bed and passed out without a single nightmare, which I was sure I would have after the news of the evening. The expired edibles did their job and for that, I was grateful.
7/27/26
We drove back from Portland the next day and I was sad the weekend was over. I swear something has been unlocked in me ever since I started really letting myself listen to music that I LOVE and that tunes my frequency higher, as Florence Given would say – instead of just forcing myself to listen to whatever is popular, or what I think I should listen to. Silly, I know. It all started with letting myself become re-obsessed with 5SOS, which led me to discovering The Band CAMINO and other pop rock bands like them, and now I’ve been listening to indie rock bands for basically 48 hours straight before, during, and after the YTG concert.
This music is fucking doing something to my brain and my body and my ability to let go and just enjoy. It makes me feel like I can do ANYTHING, like I’m so present in my body and in the moment and I look around me and the world is so beautiful and the music is so good. I am loving discovering more indie or less well-known bands like the two openers for the YTG concert, Common People and Cold War Kids, because historically I have been terrible at discovering or actively searching for new music and I would automatically listen to whatever was “popular.” It was never terrible, probably enjoyable for the most part, but it never made me feel so ALIVE and myself.
7/28/26
6pm
Why am I so fucking bloated?? I finally did my 20 minutes of PT exercises after months of being terrible at doing them consistently, and of course it wasn’t that hard. the hardest part that I’ve been struggling with is getting myself to the gym (a 3 minute walk from my front door) because I resent the fact that I even HAVE to do them, and I dislike going to the gym if I’m not going to leave feeling strong after a good workout.
my therapist gave me a good reframe today though, to tell myself that “I’m kind to my body because I am in pain” and not “I’m kind to my body because I want to get better.” So it wasn’t hard, no, and I’m proud of myself for taking care of myself without expecting to feel better immediately, but also I was bloated and cramping the whole time for who knows why. maybe all the Wendy’s I ate this weekend before and after the concert Marla and I went to lol. worth it.
10pm
Earlier today I sent off my largest copywriting invoice & contract to date. Eek! I’ve sent out proposals with high dollar amounts before, but they’ve always been for 6 or 12-month contracts that spread out over longer periods of time – but I’m about to book my highest copywriting package yet, and I am so fucking thrilled and slightly imposter syndrome-y about it!
I have been wishing I could take over someone’s entire launch copy for a while now, so last week on a whim I pieced together a few of my package/a la carte options into one big ol’ Launch Bundle. I was already in talks with one of my all-time favorite, most loyal return clients about sales pages for two upcoming offers they’ll be launching this fall, so I threw the concept of the greater Launch Bundle out there (complete with sales page copy, SEO research + optimization, AND a big set of 14 nurture + launch emails)... and what do you know? As my oracle reading for the week told me yesterday, “What I seek is seeking me.”
Turns out that this client who I adore just so happened to be seeking full-scale launch copy as much as I was seeking to write it. And booked not just one, but TWO of them. I am eternally grateful to be able to partner with such fucking great people who make me enjoy what I do; the more I step into the role of copywriter and strategist instead of simply a blog writer, the more I feel like I can deeply get to know each brand I work with and turn it into a creative collaboration. I can’t wait to show myself and my client what I can do (though she’s already got at least 5 other sales pages and a full website written by me at this point… I think she’s got a good idea).
7/29/26
7am
My grandpa recently discovered this thing called Postcrossing, where you send and receive postcards to random people all over the world – basically his dream as somebody who thrives on connecting with people everywhere; he’s the kind of person that his entire town knows and loves. He’s gotten my mom and I into it, too; I truly can’t recommend it enough if you’d like to remind yourself of all the unique and fascinating people thre are out there in the world for you to connect with if you just look for them.
one of the last postcards I sent was to a woman in Germany who’s bio said she liked to crochet. I told her in my postcard that I’m learning to crochet myself, and I just got a thank-you message from her in my inbox: she told me she crochets a lot of little “worry worms” and gives them away at hospitals, doctors offices, on the street or in shops, “simply everywhere” she said. She’s crocheted 500 of them. PEOPLE ARE SO COOL AND WONDERFUL! I want to know what a worry worm is and how I can make some myself. I think I’ll respond and ask her for a photo.
12pm
Update: she has responded with photos of the worms!! With an email that made me fucking laugh out loud when I saw it in my inbox:
😭😭 this are the worms indeed! I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing since I haven’t given out any of her identifying information, because they are too precious not to:
6pm
Found a nice little shaded bench to sit on, I’ve been on a walk with *very good vibes* and felt a little twinge in my left hip that usually signals I am pushing myself a little further than I should and maybe it’s time to slow down. I’m trying to get better at listening to my body’s signals rather than ignoring them, because I’m tired of this cycle of 1. My back hurts 2. I’m going to go to spin class/revise anyway 3. why does my back still hurt/hurt more 4. I don’t want to do my PT exercises, they make me feel weak and I resent having to do them 5. My back still hurts, why?
No more. I’m done getting in the way of my own recovery and I am taking better care of myself. I have a massage next week and I will slow down on my walks and I won’t tell my friend I can do spin class and push through the pain even if I really want to. It is exceptionally frustrating and discouraging that I’ve been dealing with this for a whole year now. I haven’t run since last August. I’ve been going to PT since September. I’ve had to pause strength training again. But I will take care of myself as best I can because that is the only way I can set future me up for safer and stronger movement that feels good and doesn’t lead to pain.
I published my first series of diary entries to Substack this morning, yay!! I’m honestly surprised I hadn’t been doing this sooner. It has been so good for me and makes writing feel like a fucking breeze. It’s also helping me figure out my writing style more than writing anything else ever has.
Also signed a contract for my biggest copywriting project yet! And delivered a blog post to a client! And read week 9 of the Artist’s Way!Making more room for my creativity and projects other than client work has been so fulfilling and also stressful because this is the lowest I’ve been on monthly client retainers in years. It feels scary to do that on purpose but every time I book myself up for the sake of money, I end up resentful and burned out and have no space for anything other than due dates and deadlines to keep up with.
I’m trusting this; I’ve been needing to lessen my client load for years but it is terrifying to not have the cushion in my business bank account that I’d like to. It is so tempting to just give in and take on more clients so that I feel secure financially, but this is the only way I can truly expand in the way I want to - business wise, creatively, and in my life as a whole. And so far it HAS indeed been working!!
7/30/26
Felt a little meh when I got up this morning, my back hurt and people were being loud outside and I didn’t want to work. Showered, went on a walk, listened to my favorite playlist, and immediately felt better. My perfect cure. Procrastinated doing the client work I needed to get done today because I had a call at 11, and if I have anything happening mid-morning then it completely interrupts my few-hour chunk of focus time, so it has to be pushed till another time of day when I don’t have anything coming up on my calendar. Asked my accountant a million questions and thanked her equally as many times for saving my ass and helping me understand what it means to be a business owner, even nearly 8 years in (what the fuck 8 years?!?!).
Heated up leftover burnt pizza and ate it for lunch while I started a new book, The Creative Act by Rick Rubin, which I’m already loving and goes beautifully in tandem with my second time through the Artist’s Way. Though reading it just made me want to quit working entirely and devote my entire day/week/month/life to creative projects that don’t require deadlines, obligations, or bills to be paid. A girl can daydream!
Though I am proud of how I’ve been so intentional about making space for creativity lately – speaking of which, I got my first roll of film scans back from the lab and I was so thrilled! They came out quite magenta, but they bring me so much joy to look at. Like a little 36-part highlight reel from the past month, except not just sitting in the middle of 1000 other photos in my camera roll.
Spent the evening at my new favorite beach park in Seattle that I went to for the first time last month; we sat in the sand on a mess of picnic blankets with our friends, listened to Bad Bunny, and drank ciders and champagne as the sun set behind us. So many seagulls on the beach, sailboats on the horizon, and bright yellow volleyballs flying through the air that we had to constantly avoid as we played our card game.
The ocean air got chilly so we transitioned to a seemingly family-owned Italian restaurant up the road; I ordered spaghetti with mizithra cheeze (oh my god I don’t know why I typed CHEEZE but I’m leaving it), thinking it would be like my favorite Spaghetti Factory dish; lo and behold, what I got was a giant plate of spaghetti noodles drenched in melted butter and a dash of cheese that I could’ve eaten at home for $0 instead of $18. Oh well, the waitress was lovely, I’m happy to support a local spot, and I will gladly pay $18 for an overpriced kids’ buttered pasta if it means fun time with friends.
7/31/26
3pm
Nothing makes me feel more independent and free than taking public transportation on my own, especially when I get to walk around downtown. I feel like a hot city girl and felt especially cute today with my sunglasses and new bag, pretending like I’m strutting down the busy streets of New York on the way to somewhere cool and mysterious.
I forget how beautiful our downtown library is! Probably the coolest building in the city, honestly. Neon yellow escalators that make you feel like you’re heading up to the severed floor, ceilings made up of windows that allow in warm afternoon sunlight, and a cafe I didn’t know existed. As I sat at the little cafe waiting for my friend to show up, I couldn’t stop thinking about how gorgeous this color combo was – the blue of the cafe table with the red of their logo and the deep brown of my bag!
5pm
Usually I don’t mind the lightrail at all but today my ride back from the library had like 5 guys in my car wearing 5 different colognes that all gave me the ick and made me nauseous, think it’s cause I have a slight stomachache from the coffee I impulsively bought because the vibe was too good not to get one; sunlight streaming through the windows down onto the coffee shop tables, wearing a cute outfit with my new purse that I’m obsessed with and my Kindle out. How could I not purchase an overpriced $8 latte that didn’t even taste that great?
6pm
Took my 8 minute walk around our apartment building to close my Exercises ring for the day and now I’m off to get high and watch superhero movies with Mat! My brain needs this.