Learning to Be A Beginner: An 8-Week Experiment in Overcoming Perfectionism

Embarking on two months of being bad at things, embarrassing myself, and getting out of my comfort zone to fight against my inner perfectionist

Jul 14, 2025

Whewww, is it difficult to be a beginner at something, when all your life, your sense of worth has come from being the best.

It is physically painful to be at the back of the pack at a run club, embarrassed that you can’t keep up with your friends when you used to be able to run a 7-minute mile in PE class.

It is so fucking uncomfortable to show up to a 200-hour yoga teacher training you spontaneously signed up for, and realize you’re the least experienced yogi in the room.

And god, it feels absolutely awful to try your hand at painting because you would love nothing more than to be an artist, but you can’t draw a goddamn circle to save your life.

💭 I’m embarrassing myself.

💭 Who do I think I am?

💭 I have to get out of here before anyone realizes I’m a fraud & have no idea what I’m doing.

Except that when I look at the last two years of my life. . .

All of the best things I’ve done have started with the courage to be a beginner.

🤨 How the f*ck did we get here?

In my last post, I wrote about how difficult I’ve always found it to, well. . . be bad at something. How my inner teenage perfectionist still haunts me to this day, and comes out every time I try to start a new hobby, or learn a new skill.

Ever since my days as a kindergarten student toting around a brightly-colored Jansport backpack, I’ve made it a point to do my best at all times. But not only to do my best—to be the best.

Completing homework assignments on time (if not early), and to an A+ level without fail.

Practicing my saxophone for hours and making sure I was always just a little bit better than the 13-year-old next to me.

Coming home with a report card shining with straight A’s, and always an extra little note from my teacher about how great of a student I was.

*Me, practicing said saxophone to make sure my time sheet was as full as it could be!*

This is where I found my worth. In my ability to exceed expectations, go above and beyond, and impress the adults around me.

Which is why now, when I try something new as an adult, and realize I’m not inherently gifted at it, I either:

a) give up before I really even start,

b) assume that if I’m not good at said thing right away, I never will (or could) be,

c) break down into tears of frustration and snip away just a little bit more of my sense of self-worth.

(or d, all of the above)

The worst part of it is that, when I shut something down because I’m not immediately the best, I am throwing away SO many opportunities to discover things I might actually love! New hobbies, new passions, new ways to express myself or be creative—even if I’m not objectively “good” at them.

If I hadn’t pushed through the initial shame of being “slow”. . . I would’ve never experienced the joy and community that running has brought me.

(I’m still slow, btw, I’m just not embarrassed about it anymore. Being slow has allowed me to run 10 fucking miles without feeling like death at the end!!)

If I hadn’t pushed through the inherent sense of failure for not being able to keep up during my first spin class. . . I would have never realized how much I actually love it.

If I hadn’t been willing to start a business with absolutely no knowledge, experience, or degree to back me up. . . I wouldn’t have been able to drop out of college and go full-time with it!

And most importantly, I never would have started to find my sense of self-worth, confidence, and pride outside of achievement, success, and end results.

🔬 8 weeks of exposure therapy

So! In keeping with this theme of trying new things, forcing myself to be a beginner, and pushing through the discomfort—whether or not it turns out to be something I enjoy long-term—I’ve decided to do a little 8-week experiment, and take you along for the ride with me.

Every week for the next two months, I’ll be choosing one thing to be a complete beginner at. Because honestly, exposure therapy has been the absolute best way for me to get rid of my pride, build a new sense of self-confidence, and recognize when my ego is stopping me from doing really cool shit in life.

These might be small creative tasks, like going to the park and attempting to draw a landscape in my sketchbook, without giving up three minutes in when I can’t perfectly replicate the tree in front of me.

Or they might be trying things that feel intimidating, like writing a vulnerable poem, or going to a brand new workout class without a friend by my side, or signing up for a community event/activity where I don’t know anybody.

🧪 My 3 big goals with this experiment:

To try new things & learn more about myself (what I like, dislike, might want to do more of, etc.)
To practice getting out of my comfort zone & doing things I don’t feel naturally “good” at
To stop worrying about what the end result will look like, and be okay looking/feeling like a beginner

And who knows—I might discover a new passion along the way that I never would have thought about trying, in fear of being “bad” at it :)

At the end of each week (or the beginning, who knows), I’ll write a little reflection on how that week’s experiment went: what I learned, what challenges I ran into, what I enjoyed (or didn’t enjoy), and anything else that pops up.

✍🏼 A few loose guidelines that I’ve set for myself:

Keep spending to a minimum: I’m actively trying to lower my spending right now and find ways to maximize what I already have available to me, so I’ll keep additional spending low where I can! I’ll use art supplies I already have, sign up for classes through the ClassPass subscription I already pay for, find free activities, etc.
Be open about the challenges: Eeek this one is going to be hard, but I’ll do it for you. I promise to be very transparent as I write, reflect, and share how each week goes, not just the good parts but the frustrations, the challenges, and the discomfort.
Do things twice: It’s easy for me to give up on the first try if something doesn’t go perfectly, so I’m going to be intentional about giving things a second chance where I can (and where my budget/time allows)!

Julia Cameron said it best in the Artist’s Way:

“It is the willingness to once more be a beginner that distinguishes a creative career.”

I may not have completed all of my Morning Pages (shoutout to @Internet People for the Bare Minimum approach to the AW). . . but I will listen to Julia on this one ;)

Come along for the ride with me, will you??